I Have a Confession…

I’m 30 years old.

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Well not quite, but I will be in 2 days. Ugggh, there I said it. Do you know how hard that was for me to do? Some of you might be thinking what in the world are you talking about? But I know a lot of women feel like me, or have felt like me when it was time to cross into the new decade that symbolizes one becoming a “super adult”. Yes, I’m an adult in my 20s, but I’ll be REALLY grown up on Wednesday when I hit 3-0. Stay with me until the end of this post, I promise there’s a point to this…

Seriously, I’ve had the most bipolar feelings about being 30. One minute I’m so excited because most women I know that are in their 30s are confident, beautiful, and comfortable in their own skin! Who doesn’t want that? But on the other hand, there’s a tiny voice in my head that wants to tell me that I’m getting old (THE DEVIL). So to tell you the honest truth, as much as I love to celebrate everything, I’m feeling quite strange. Happy, sad, excited, anxious….all wrapped up into one.

Let me back up and tell you how this blog came about. One day, I was chatting with my fiance about my upcoming birthday, and I told him that when he posted pictures on Facebook from whatever birthday celebration he might be planning for me, DON’T post my age. He agreed that he wouldn’t (because he is such a wonderful man, I can just kiss him on his nose right now…but I digress), but he just can’t understand why revealing our age is such a big deal to women. Then he proceeded to say, “You should write a blog about that”…lol. And you know what? I started to wonder the same thing and it took me 2 weeks to even start writing this because it’s a reality that I wanted to prolong facing. WHY IS IT SUCH A BIG DEAL? I’ve heard so many women say “You shouldn’t ask a woman her age” or even just look at a person crazy if they ask her how old she is. Hmmm… Do men go through this?

Now, because I needed to process this, I went to the one person that I can count on to keep it real with me. None other than my mother! I simply confessed to her my mixed feelings about entering into a new decade, and asked her how she felt when she turned 30. She said she probably felt the same way I felt, but then went on to give me some advice. She said a lot…lol…but I summarized some of her beautiful wisdom here:

She said, “Quickly turn that perception around and thank God for letting you live! It’s a blessing to be another decade older and it’s an opportunity to be an inspiration to other women. You can be an inspiration to let them know that they can be happy and healthy and look good every year that they get older. It’s up to us to take care of our health and hold on to our youth. So you have to keep exercising and eating right. I would understand if you let yourself go, but if you take care of yourself and look good, youth is in the eye of the beholder.”

After talking to her, I realized where these feelings I’ve been having are coming from, and I can finally answer my fiance’s question.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

*Sometimes I don’t feel like a “mature” adult. How can I be 30?

*I wanted to finish my PhD by the age of 30. I still have 2 more years. The sense of accomplishment is huge, and it’s different for everybody.

*Will I be considered the “older” woman in the room when I’m amongst “20 somethings” now?

Even as I type, some of that sounds a little ridiculous to me now, you don’t have to tell me, I know. But everyone has their own personal insecurities, and their own personal journey to peace. I’m leaving the decade of my 20s with the satisfaction in knowing that although I’m not where I want to be at this moment (in some areas of my life), I’m exactly where I need to be. This is just one of many new beginnings.

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So now I can walk confidently into my 30s, knowing that my best days are yet to come. I thank God for another year that He has blessed me to see, and another year that I can be an inspiration to other people. So I’m going to be even more virtuous and fashionable in this next decade, and I thank you for sharing this moment with me.

I know every woman doesn’t go through this, but I also know many that do. And it doesn’t just happen at 30. It can happen at 25 (that quarter life crisis…lawd have mercy), 40, 50, etc. If you’ve been so gracious to have read all the way down to this point, let me know how you are dealing with getting older! Were you like me with mixed emotions? Were you completely happy? Or were you completely down about it?  Did it even matter to you?

So then the fiance said the next blog I write should be about my weight… Sorry brother, that’s not happening…

Peace and blessings,

Candace Sierra-Louise

P.S. I realize that the entertainment industry has a lot to do with women’s perceptions of themselves, and I had to go to the heavenly Father for some advice about that. The word says,’Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” -Romans 12:2. So don’t base your standard of beauty and youth off of what you see on tv.

And in order to age gracefully, we have to take care of ourselves. “Do you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit within you?…So glorify God in your body”  I Corinthians 6:19-20.

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