Confession: I love her, but I sure don’t like her

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Can I even say that? Have you ever said that before? Is it possible to love as we are supposed to if we don’t like a person?

Oh, before I begin, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’m truly glad to be back in Sass and Substance world, and now that I’m newly married (and loving it!), finished with the wedding planning journey, and have a small break from academics, I can finally talk to you again! Ok, let’s go…

We’re all human and if I’m one thing, I’m definitely real. I try to be tactful or keep my mouth closed to prevent myself from saying something that may not be received well (I’ve got a piece on being classy coming soon), so sometimes when I’m quiet it’s not because I don’t have anything to say, it’s because you might not want to hear what I have to say… eeek.

So with that being said, I’ve had some situations where I’ve wrestled within myself because I know that I have to display the love of Jesus Christ to those around me, but I don’t really like them. Hmmm…

I used to know this lady named Lena (names changed of course), who I honestly considered my friend. We did all the girlfriend things that girls do, but then one day Lena decided that she wanted to dibble dabble in some “other stuff” and became friends with Jessica. Basically, Lena and I grew apart and she started treating me like we were never best friends. Ok, yes, that hurt a bit, but I got over it, and moved on with my life. Even as an adult, it feels good to have girlfriends, even if it’s only one or two good ones, so when those relationships fail, it can hurt. Anyway, later on, Lena became sick, and guess who had to make a decision? I didn’t really like Lena anymore, especially the person she had become, but I knew that she was in need, so I decided to help her. And guess what? We didn’t become friends again after I helped her. I didn’t like her, but the way my heart was set up, I had to give to a person in need, no matter how I felt.

That was just an example, because there are others that I have encountered that are just not my cup of tea (and if you know me, you know I love tea…green tea, spearmint tea, rooibos tea, ginger tea, yummm)… But I digress…

I have heard people say “I love him/her, but I sure don’t like him/her” and as funny as it may sound, I began to wonder if that can really be true. Can you really, truly say that you love someone but in the same breath say that you don’t like them? Doesn’t “like” come before “love”? Then I thought some more and I realized that maybe there’s different levels of love, and maybe just maybe, I CAN have the love of Christ in my heart for a person even though their personality or their aura  isn’t really my cup of tea. Romantic love is something different, and I do think that “like” has to come before “love”, but for a person you’re not romantically interested in, I may not have to like you to help you when you’re in need. I just have to understand that my love for humankind supersedes my dislike for the person.

I know this may sound harsh to some people, and honestly, I thought about not writing it because people might think that I’m promoting being “fake” (people love that word “fake” I tell ya), but the reason that I write is to get people to start thinking. I’m not telling you that we should all smile in others’ faces and then talk about them behind their back. I AM saying that it’s okay to keep a smile on your face in the presence of those you’re not fond of.  Just because a person doesn’t like you doesn’t mean that they can’t help you if you need help or smile in your presence. It just means that you won’t be BFFs! In my opinion, it shows a level of maturity when a person can give someone a ride, knowing that they aren’t the best of friends. Or a person can see that you might be a few dollars short to buy your food at the lunch counter and even though they’re not very fond of you, they still give you the money to buy your food. You’re witnessing a good heart that supersedes dislike when something like that happens.

As much as I want to like everyone that I come into contact with, I just don’t. And I’m sure that everyone that comes into contact with me doesn’t like me either, for some reason or another. I can usually find some good in everyone, but can I say that I like everyone that I know? Eh…

For leaders, and people with influence, this is something that I believe must be mastered. Being able to help people, even pray for people, that they don’t necessarily mesh with. Hats off to all of you…

So can I dislike a person, but still love them? I think I can. Can YOU dislike a person and still love them? Does this even make sense? Let me know…

Love and blessings,
Candace Sierra-Louise

One thought on “Confession: I love her, but I sure don’t like her

  1. Annette says:

    This is very true! I’ve had people that I know didn’t like me when I’ve never done anything to have them dislike me for.But the love of God I have in me made life much easier to be around them. Though people may have evil in them and try to make one suffer by trying to make one feel guilty for not liking them, we still win! We are not the victim, but victorious! “Love your neighbor as yourself”(Mark 12:31)He didn’t say like them. We don’t get to pick our neighbors. We have to live by God’s rules. Everyone is created in His image right?But because of sin , we are all unlovable. Love, grace, and forgiveness (Romans 5:8)If God loves us we can love those around us!

    Liked by 1 person

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