The Grudge, Whites, and Nudes

Let’s get some SASS in your life. I’ll keep it short because I’m about to give you an “ear-full” in a moment! Lol.

One of my favorite color combinations to wear is white and nudes. It’s just something about the color white that is so clean and chic that makes me love it so much. Whether you’re going casual or dressing up, I think you’ll turn heads if you wear white. I’ll post more about white in the future because you can do so much with it! It’s literally a beautiful blank canvas that you can add so many splashes of color to, but today, I’m going to keep it simple. So if you have some white pants in your closet, or a white dress that you’ve been dying to wear, take it out and start experimenting. Start with nudes and golds, and try some other colors too! The possibilities seem endless…

Whites and nudes


And now for some substance…

Ever since I can remember I’ve had hurtful encounters. Whew! Where do I begin? I was teased about my physical features in elementary and middle school, blatantly told by people (girls at that) that they didn’t like me in high school before they even got to know me, told by girls that I even hung out with that they disliked me, lied to and rejected by guys in my 20s, wait…  Does this sound familiar? I bet you’ve gone through something similar. If you haven’t, good for you, it’s not fun. But then again, these experiences helped mold me into a better ME.

 Now, if you know me personally, you would know that I’m nonconfrontational. In fact, if I feel an argument coming, I will usually politely stop talking and ask you to talk to me when you have calmed down. I’m also one of those people that can be hurt, and will not talk about it, but holding it in is not always healthy. I gave you the examples above because when I went through all of those things, I was hurt, and I held things in for a loooong time. So long, that it affected my self esteem long after those people left my life. I didn’t like myself, because for some reason, the things that happened to me over the years stayed with me and kept replaying in my mind. I could go into detail about the experiences above, and maybe in later posts I will, but this post would be way too long if I did that now.

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 When people say things to you, or things happen to you and you don’t understand why, it can affect your mood and your thoughts, but if you don’t learn to let it go, you will be held captive (thanks to my wonderful fiance for processing this with me). Seriously, you’ll be a prisoner in your own mind. There are so many people walking around with smiles on their faces, but prisoners in their minds and they are not free! Now, I know that we are always being told to forgive, and we should. How do we go about forgiving though? How can we let go of the grudge that’s keeping us captive in our mind?

I realized that there is a cycle that happens when it comes to forgiveness, but many people get stuck. I’ll call it “The Grudge Cycle”.

1) Someone makes a hurtful comment or does something offensive — 2) You are hurt— 3) The hurt affects your mood and interactions with other people — 4) You realize that your happiness depends on you alone — 5) You FORGIVE and let go of the grudge                                                                                                                                                                    Image result for happy face clip art

 People normally get stuck after number three, and it’s hard to reach the next point in the cycle.

Remember that your happiness depends on you! There will be plenty of hurt in this thing called life, but once you realize that the person that hurt you has no power over your well-being, then you can move forward. Words hurt, yes they do, but when a person says hurtful words to you always remember the famous saying “Hurt people hurt people”. You might even begin to feel sorry for the person instead of being hurt yourself. Maybe you were chosen at that moment to encounter that person so that you could be made stronger and live to tell someone else how valuable they are! One thing I know for sure is that holding grudges keeps you from being the person that you were destined to be. And if you allow those negative things to affect your life, the other person has won. Forgiveness is for you, not them, and I guarantee that once you let it go, you will be more successful in life. Wouldn’t you rather them see you happy, rather than defeated and broken?

So in my Elsa voice… Cue up music from “Frozen”….

 Let it go! Let it goooooo!

 And make sure to check out my post next week on how to let it go.

 Ephesians 4:32, Romans 5:3-5:5, and Matthew 5:44

Thanks for spending a few moments out of your day with little ol’ me… Can’t wait to chat next time!

 Love and blessings,

Candace